Punishment or Not?

Hey Guys..

My post ‘The Boy That Got Away; An Inadequacy of Justice‘ briefly touched on the lack of punishment that this boy received; which greatly angers me. However, I could have been wrong saying that he had no punishment, as my mum assured me he did in a CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service) appointment I had today. 

Knowing that someone like him got no punishment makes me feel angry, but most of all lonely. I feel like I’m shouting to these important people about something significant, yet they don’t hear me, or think that it’s not as serious as I make it out to be. I feel frustrated and like I’ve been left on my own to cope with something that has had an impact on my life. When someone hurts you, you want them to be severely punished so that they feel as much physical pain as you did emotionally, physically, and mentally. You want them to be hurt, to understand or experience just some of the pain you did. You want them to know that their actions were wrong, you just want them hurt, but sometimes this does not happen, and you feel let down by the important people that are supposed to be there to help you. 

I said that there was an inadequacy of justice because I had not been informed that any proper punishment had been given, and I still stand by that tonight despite hearing what my mother had to say this morning. When this came out in the middle of last year, this is what happened: The school told my mum what I had told my counsellor previously that day, she then met Terry (her boyfriend) and told him what Jack had done. He said he needed to sort it out and went back to his ex wife’s house, where Jack lives and he told Jacks mum, she demanded for the police to be called, but instead they got an emergancy social worker round and they interviewed Jack. I was not aware that this had happened all in the same night, and I didn’t know the full extent of the visit from the social worker. Days later, It was on Jack’s medical record and he was taken to the doctors by Terry to have an anger management test. I didn’t know this either, but the doctors was the end of how far the situation would go and nothing more was done about it. The safety officer at my school offered to drive me to the police station to report the incident, however my mother was very against the idea, therefore nothing was reported and it wasn’t brought up by anyone. 

My mother told me that his punishment was guilt, and that his dad had chosen my family and so he had lost part of his dad to us. She said that he will have to live with his actions for the rest of his life and he will never be apart of the family get- togethers or anything like that; which is his punishment. But to me, that is not a punishment. Guilt is an emotional consequence, it is what he got for doing what he did, he felt guilt when it all came out, but that is not a punishment. He wasn’t hurt like I was, he got a mild ‘smack on the wrist’ and he carried on with his life. My mother then went on to say that his testosterone and and sexual desires took over him, and he couldn’t get out of that situation either, which I believe is not true. My mum said that she would support him in the future if he was ever to marry, she said that in the future, he may feel even more guilt. She made out that it was okay what he did, and that he was ‘just being an over- excited teenaged boy’. No. He was not just that, I saw evil and determination in his eyes. I saw something indescribable, that was far away from the innocent lad he makes out to be. 

I cannot understand how anyone could do such a thing, and only feel guilt when they are told that it is wrong. Terry found a lot of pornography on his laptop, and he said that this is why he did what he did; these people aren’t real in these videos, but he thought it was okay to treat women like that in real life. That was Terry’s excuse for him. I cannot describe my anger or frustration that this causes me, I am so so confused as to how and why this boy ‘could not’ stop what he was doing. I don’t understand how anyone, as a matter of fact could be so evil, and do something so horrible that it’ll change that persons life for the worst, and not feel that much guilt towards it. I have so many questions, that cannot be answered. I often wonder what goes through these evil people’s minds, and if they see other people as objects to destroy. I don’t know if he put on a hard front, and that he was guilty and upset inside, or if he was generally emotionless and didn’t care or quite understand what he had done, he showed no emotion, he didn’t deny what he did, nor did he defend himself, nor even admit it. He just sat there without a care in the world.

I don’t know if others would see this as a punishment, but I think that something more should have been done and that he has learned no lesson, other than not to get caught next time. I don’t know if I’m being to harsh, but he should have felt punishment and gotten half the pain I got from what he did to me. 

Charlotte xxx